I got my butt chewed out by my parents. They thought I done hit her upside the head with a rock. Which was a stupid conclusion. That’s my best friend. Nonetheless, they had me apologize to Irie’s dad, as the mom left not too long ago, and had me go up to live with my Tia for a bit. For behavior issues, I suppose. It was a long drive. I was glad to see her, though. She believed me when I told her the truth after a couple weeks of staying with her and she had asked me if I wanted to see Irie in the hospital. I said yes immediately and we went the next day.
On the drive there, my Tia told me how she met Irie’s dad. They went to the same college and they became friends quickly after sharing a psychology class. They never dated or anything, just friends, best friends even. She was actually dating his wife, who’s now his ex-wife, in college. That was when I learned she was different, kinda like me. I told her how I felt, how I felt wrong in a male body and wanted to wear makeup and pretty dresses like hers. She grabbed my hand and told me that was okay and that while living with her for a bit, she will help make me feel more like myself.
I cried. She truly was my favorite person (aside from Irie of course).
We got into South Carolina at night, so we just decided to get a hotel and visit Irie in the morning. She thought it would be cool to do some late night shopping and get something out to eat afterwards. I couldn’t agree more. I liked spending time with her.
She dragged me to some makeup stores and helped me pick out the best products for me. I felt a warm buzz in my chest, from adrenaline and excitement. My parents would kill me if they saw what I was doing right now! She then got me some new clothes to wear, some pretty tops and skirts and dresses. We decided to get some junk food to eat and as we sat in her car, chowing down, she paused and turned towards me.
“Do you like your name?” I thought about it, and I slowly shook my head no.
“Do you want to go by a different name while you’re here?” I shook my head yes and she asked me what name I wanted to use. I thought, really trying to pick through all the different names I could possibly go by. I kept going back to one.
“Daphne.” Daphne means “laurel tree”, it came from that Greek story where Apollo went crazy over that nymph named Daphne and she became a laurel tree. I like that story. She smiled and said it suited me. We continued to eat our food and crashed as soon as we got to the hotel.
We left for the hospital first thing in the morning. Mr. Kehinde told us which hospital it was and what room she was in. I was nervous. I heard that it was a pretty serious injury and I felt awful. The hospital was cold and was kind of a nice break from the heat of the summer. The air smelled sterile and the lights were bright. Nurses walking around, checking in on patients, taking vitals, stuff nurses do. I let my Tia do the talking and soon enough, we were walking to Irie’s room. I was nervous, I hadn’t seen her in forever and no one was keeping me updated on her. I just hoped she was okay.
When we got there, Mr. Kehinde was talking to her, smiling and laughing. As soon as Irie saw me walk through the door, her whole face lit up and opened her arms. She had a scar on her lip. I ran into her arms and crashed. I was crying a little bit. I missed her so much. She was crying, too. Mr. Kehinde and Tia left the room, let us have our moment. After what felt like forever, but was probably only a few seconds, we broke apart and we instantly started talking. I told her about how I’m having to stay with my aunt for the summer because of what happened and how awesome it’s been. About how she’s a lot nicer to me than my parents are. Irie looked at me the whole time I was talking, never looking away and I felt heard. She makes me so happy. I told her that. She said I make her happy, too.
I told her how much I’ve missed her and how her head has been. She said she was fine and that it was only a mild head fracture and that she was going to be fine in the long run. She went quiet for a moment and told me she had a secret to tell me. My heart pumped so fast, it was wild. I leaned in and she cupped her hand to my ear.
She told me she thinks she gained powers. She thinks something altered her brain when she fell. I didn’t believe her, but I acted like I did. We moved on and talked about how we’ll see each other. Irie said we should do a dance to convince my aunt and Mr. Kehinde to get Irie to spend the night at Tia’s since she was able to leave the hospital now. We choreographed our dance to the song I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys and I called them in.
We performed for them and they smiled wide, probably trying not to laugh now that I look back on it. Mr. Kehinde was fine with Irie staying for a couple of days, he had to go upstate anyways. To Vermont. Me and Irie were just overjoyed that our dance worked. I’ve never been happier.
Those days flew by, we painted our own mugs, we played outside a lot, we tried to catch tiny toads at the creek by my Tia’s house, all sorts of stuff. She had slept on a pallet on my floor by my bed. Sharing a room with one of my favorite people, it made me happy that I made my parents mad.
When it was time for Irie to leave, Mr. Kehinde looked tired and sad. I’ve never seen him like this before. When Irie went to greet him, he talked to her in hushed tones. Irie’s face also became sad. Mr. Kehinde looked at me and Irie came running back to me. She hugged me. Hard. I asked her what’s wrong and she told me her and Mr. Kehinde was moving to Vermont. She was going to a new school as well. I asked if I could visit her then and she shook her head. This school was the type of school where students basically lived there and they don’t usually let in visitors. I felt like crying right then and there, but I didn’t. Irie was already on the verge of tears, if I cried now, she would too and it takes her a while to stop crying completely.
We hugged one more time and she was gone.
I had a couple more weeks with my Tia and in those couple of weeks, she taught me how to do my makeup that suit my face and how to style my clothing on me. I remember the first time I looked in the mirror, I felt like I was looking at myself for the first time. I felt like me. And it took my mind off of Irie for a moment. My Tia told me that I could bring these things with me back to South Carolina as long as I hid them well. I told her I would and promised not to get caught. On that first night of me being me, we went out to eat ice cream, in my pretty makeup and my pretty dress.
While we snacked on our ice cream, I asked her a couple questions I always wondered, but felt too scared to ask. Why doesn’t she live in South Carolina like the rest of our family? Why doesn’t she come to family reunions that often? Why am I only allowed to see her a couple times a year? She looked forward, thinking.
“You know how I told you I dated Mr. Kehinde’s ex-wife? It was kinda because of that. Our family doesn’t like the fact that I like women. They think it’s a disgrace, ungodly, a sin. They tried to pray it away and when that didn’t work, they considered sending me to this camp. To “fix” me,” She looked my way.
“Daphne, I want you to promise me something,” I nodded.
“If they ever find out who you truly are and start to treat you the way they treated me, I need you to call me. You don’t ever start doubting who you are, you know you best, not them. I’ll come get you and bring you to me. I want you to live to your fullest,” I started crying and so did she.
“Do you promise me?” I nodded again.
“I promise,” My voice cracked.
And we hugged. And we said our “I love you”’s. And when we pulled away, she started to laugh, saying that my makeup was ruined now. I laughed, too.
I think about that often.