Creeping inside the house, creeping back into this beast of a home, I didn’t know what to do. So I fixed myself a bath. As the water filled the tub, I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked disheveled. My eyes were bloodshot, my pupils small. My eyes seemed to face forward like a hungry predator. For a second, I felt like a woman. I felt grown. I felt strong. But as I noticed the blood sipping from my ears, I felt like a child again. I felt small. Weak. I hurt my mommy.
The water had overflowed. My socks were wet.
I got into my too full bathtub, my hands shaking, and I dialed my aunt’s number into the house phone. I held it close to my face as it rang.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
“Hello?” It was her.
I was quiet for a moment before I broke down crying. She understood.