Me and Daphne had an interesting conversation last night. We started talking about our partners and we got on the topic of sex and stuff. It was weird hearing Daphne talk about that kind of stuff, she’s so sweet and kept to herself and there she was, talking about how much she, y'know, pulls on her hog. She was talking about it like it was the most amazing feeling in the world. Me personally, I have not tugged on MY hog. I mean, obviously, I’ve done the do, but by myself? It’s never crossed my mind. Even with Chris, not to put him down or anything, I don't really get that amazing, euphoric feeling she’s talking about. It mostly just hurts. Like a lot. Like it’s tearing me from the inside out. That might be normal though when you’re doing it with a guy. Idk
Anyways, after Daphne said goodnight and left to go sleep in her own room, there I lay alone, in my bed. I had the genius idea to finally try, y’know, strumming the clitar. I lit candles, I played nice, sensual music, I even pulled up a picture of Christopher and I tried going at it. I tried going at it for a while. I had to take breaks ever so often because I was getting sweaty from trying different positions, seeing if they would help. They did not.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t do what every teenager in the world can seem to do. Why am I an exception? The more I tried looking at Christopher’s face, the more pissed I got. He’s a rather attractive guy, why can’t I just get that nice, warm feeling like Daphne can? She can just do it so easily. What the fuck is wrong with me? Can someone tell me? Anyone?
Anyways, I got so pissed off that I turned into a bat. It really freaked me out, but I guess I can do that now.